Natural Game - Richard Gambler
Natural Game - Richard Gambler
Published on: Mar 3, 2016
Transcripts - Natural Game - Richard Gambler
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How to read this book 5
Background – Zero to Hero, Gambler’s Story 7
Your First Impression – Paving the Way 14
Pre-Opening Body Language: Standing-out Positively 15
Mission 1 16
Modelling Actors: Learning from the Best 16
Body Language 16
Direct vs. Indirect Body Language 17
State Control: Being “In the Zone.” Anytime 19
Energy Levels and Holding Attention 20
The 3 Characters of a Seduction 23
Mission 2 26
Making Things Easier 27
Opening Cold vs. Opening Warm 27
Standing out in a Positive Way 27
Forcing Her Interest 27
Approaching after an Indication of Interest 27
Working the room 28
Mission 3 28
Direct or Indirect? Both! 28
The System – From Open to Close 30
The 3 Characters of a Seduction and The System 32
The First Minute 34
The Power of “Hey” as a Pre-Opener 34
Opening and Transitioning 34
Opinion Openers 38
Direct Openers 40
Mission 4 40
Skills of the natural – Opener to Hook Point to Rapport 41
Mission 5 46
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The Hook Point and Sexual Indicators of Interest 47
Rapport and Comfort Building Questions 49
Mission 6 52
Deep Rapport 54
Number Closing 60
Kiss Closing 61
Same Night Lay 62
Day 2 F-Close 65
Day Game 66
Optional and Advanced techniques 67
AMOGing and Disarming - Dealing with Other Guys 68
Intense Sexual Escalation – Sensing a Woman’s Responsiveness 69
Objection Management and The Boyfriend 69
Mission 7 72
Sexual Spikes 73
NLP for Seduction 74
Cold Reading 75
Push Pull 76
Dance floor Game 77
Inner game 78
Feeling Good about Yourself, Staying Motivated and Focused – Tools of the Trade 78
Being an Attractive Man 78
Universal Frame 80
Frame of Mind During an Interaction 80
Frame of Mind in a Relationship 81
Inner Game Laws 81
Visualisation Techniques 84
Overcoming Transition and Approach Anxiety. 84
Framing an uncomfortable situation 86
Example pickups (live transcripts) 87
Closing Thoughts 92
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The System, taught by Gambler and PUAtraining.com is the first complete
system for seduction. This ebook outlines every necessary element for
maximising your chances of success and minimising your chances of failure
at every step of a successful seduction. It will break down every step, give
you the content and techniques you need and allow you to go out with a map
in your head which will allow you to be successful with women. The System
is not rigid, it will fit in with your personality, natural talents and morals.
The core system is the basis of any successful male-female interaction. The
extended system covers optional “modules” which can be plugged in based
on what works for you.
How to Read This Book
You’ll get most out of this if you read it in order, it’s logically laid out to take
you through the necessary elements of a pickup all the way to the close. I’ve
put inner game last because it’s something that you can be working on in
conjunction with your pickup skills and I want you to be out there practicing
as much as possible and not using the excuse of not having got past the
inner game chapter to stop you going out!
A certain amount of you’ll read the book and not actively put stuff to use.
You’ll do slightly better because the information will be in your mind and
any interactions you’ve will be a little better than if you didn’t have the
The guys that achieve more will be going out and putting things to use.
The guys that do best will have missions to try each new thing they learn
and will be out many nights a week. They will put the theory into practice,
look at their results and refine their approach for next time.
CEO and founder
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In this book, I’ll use a small amount of terms used by the community. They make it easier to explain
AFC: Average Frustrated Chump (average dude with slim to none success with women)
Natural: Guy who picks up women successfully naturally.
PUA: A person that picks up women using a learned methods
MPUA Master Pickup Artist.
HB Hot Babe (with numbers 6-8)
SHB Super hot babe (9s and 10s)
Set Group of girls (e.g. 2 set, 3 set)
Mixed set Group containing men
AMOG Alpha Male Of Group / Alpha Male Other Guy
Opener The first thing you say.
Target The girl in the set that you want
Direct Showing interest straight away
Coming in under the radar and only dialing it up once group are disarmed and tar-
get starts to give indicators of interest
IOI Indicator of Interest (girl showing she likes you)
Sarging Going out specifically to game
Wingman Your partner in crime (useful for mixed groups and to occupy potential blocks)
Close Number, kiss, or full/fuck. n,k,f
Day 2 A first date following n-close
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Background: Zero to Hero,
I developed the system over many years of theory
and practice. What makes my method different is
that people now think I am a natural, I don’t look,
sound or act like a pick up artist. What I’ve put
together is the system for gaming like a natural--
a man that women find attractive naturally,
without the use of routines and gimmicks. Of
course, I have a huge collection of pick up artist
routines and tricks. These things work and I’ll
teach them to you. However, what The System
allows you to use your natural attractiveness
as a base, reducing the need to rely on canned
material that’s not really you.
I was an extremely shy, introverted guy. Up
until the age of 21, I hadn’t had any success with
women whatsoever. Not even a kiss! What held
me back were a few things:
I was very bad socially, meeting new people scared
me and I avoided it. I was the guy at social events
that everyone asks “what’s wrong?” and “are you
I had low self-esteem, a bad self-image and was
even clinically depressed at one time.
I was nervous, shy and socially un-calibrated – I
often annoyed people by saying the wrong things.
I was called ugly all through school and college.
People made fun of my voice, so I was scared to
speak loudly, speak in public and even avoided
making phone calls.
As an introvert, I had a few close friends rather
than a big social circle. My friends would invite
me out to parties and clubs all the time, but
I never went. The older I got, the more of a
constant worry it became. Any girl I met would
be more experienced than me and it would be
embarrassing. I wondered if I’d ever meet anyone.
At the time I was moderately successful in terms
of my career. This would have been a surprise to
my school teachers who were pretty certain I’d be
a failure. I’d proven good at marketing and even
gained skill trading the stock market in my spare
time. I wasn’t going to be a millionaire, but for the
first time I was recognised as being intelligent and
Some of my worst moments with women from
• In college there was a girl who obviously
fancied me and I fancied her. I spent the
whole year trying to pluck up the courage to
say “hello”, “how you doing?” or anything like
that and never did. One day I left a note on
her bike to say that I liked her and we should
go on a date. Yes I am very embarrassed and
no, it didn’t work.
• In university, a hot girl who I lived with was
drunk one night and came to me and said
“Richard, I’m really horny!” I said “Oh dear”
patted her arm and made an excuse to leave
her. She had a bemused look on her face and
mentioned sometime later that she thought I
must be virgin.
• One day in the street two girls came over and
one said “you look like her ex-boyfriend” and
were giving me a lot of attention. I said “oh
really” and let the conversation stale out.
• One day on a train, a group of girls started
talking to me and asked if I’d ever had a
threesome. I didn’t have enough courage to
ask for their phone number and instead I let
• At a club one night, a girl came and said
“would you like to lick my lizard?” and
showed me her lizard tattoo on her belly, I did
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lick it and she stood there expectantly, I said
nothing and she left.
• I can look back at all the times I’ve dealt with
women and left them with a bemused look on
their face and thinking “what was wrong with
The Story Continues
In September 2001, a friend invited me out to
a club and I agreed to go. The night before I’d
almost sold my soul to the devil saying that I’d
give up all my material possessions for a girl. A
funny thing happened in the car, he wanted to
go to a certain club but I insisted on another
one. This was uncharacteristic, since I generally
deferred to my friends. We went to the place
I wanted to go. In the club, my friend was
approached by a hot girl. I stood there watching
as he chatted with her. After a couple of minutes,
her friend returned from the dance-floor. Our
rapidly bonding friends were oblivious to us. I
can’t remember who spoke first, but we got into
a boring conversation then I bought her a drink.
Because we were forced together, she had to talk
with me for an hour or more. I was nervous,
couldn’t hold good eye contact, but I guess she
liked my nice guy manner. My friend and the
other girl were getting on so well that he was
going to take her back to his place. He wanted to
drop us off home first. We went to my girl’s street
and we all said goodbye and she got out of the
car. She walked 5 metres and I told my friend to
wait and ran after her. I just called her name, she
turned and I said, “Can I have your number?” She
The next day I didn’t call my prized number
because I was too nervous. The day after I called
and she didn’t answer. I immediately was broken
and sure that was it. Amazingly, she called
me back a couple of hours later! She had been
at work. We arranged to meet for drinks in a
couple of days. We had a few dates after that,
they were pretty crazy – to the first she brought
her friend along and tried to set us up. On the
second, I cooked her dinner, she sat next to me
on my couch, put her head on my shoulder and I
stroked her hair! On the third, I find out she has
a boyfriend. He even comes over so I can’t see
her for a few days. She dumps him while he is
visiting. Next she is going to university, a 4 hour
train ride away, so it looks like it won’t work. It
took me 3 dates to kiss her and after 10 dates
we still hadn’t slept together. To cut a long story
short, I work to overcome all the obstacles and
for some crazy reason, my desperate neediness
doesn’t scare her off. We spend the next 2 and a
half years together. I’m happy and in love and I
give up pretty much all my other interests. After
two years we start to have problems, I’ve changed
a lot and she has too and we start to argue more
and over 6 months, things deteriorate and we
mutually agree to break up.
It’s March 2004 and I’m single again, but I think
meeting girls is a cinch, because I have a 100%
open-close record in clubs! I’m more confident so
I don’t think meeting girls will be a problem. Over
the next couple of years I do lots of approaches,
get some numbers, have a few dates and they ALL
stale out without getting any closes. Over the
same time, I’m doing lots of self-improvement.
I wrote down all my problems, all the ways in
which I wanted to be better and made a plan for
addressing each one.
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For my shyness, I decided to do a TEFL course
in Seville, Spain. This would force me to be the
centre of attention and stand up in front of a class
of people for an hour at a time. In my first class,
I was nervous and my voice was shaking. By the
last, I was pretty good.
I started reading two books a week, mainly in the
areas of NLP, psychology, hypnosis, Buddhism and
self-development. I didn’t anticipate the effect
this would have, but it made me more calm and
composed and generally more happy and content.
I also took various business and finance courses
which added nothing to my PU skill but overcame
one of my perceived weaknesses which was a lack
of qualifications on my CV.
I fixed my fashion over a period of two years. I
went from wearing baggy jeans, Nike tops and
trainers, to wearing well-fitting, stylish, designer
clothes. I initially made mistakes and bought
terrible items, but over time I refined my style
and learned a lot about labels, design, fit and
During this time, people started to consider
me as confident and women started paying me
more attention because of this and my improved
fashion. I was very focused on my learning and
stayed out of the social scene. As a result, I didn’t
sleep with any women between March 2003 and
November 2005 apart from a couple of times with
my ex girlfriend!
In September 2005 I met Tyler Durden of Real
Social Dynamics in Starbucks, Leicester Square,
London. He was sitting around with a bunch of
strange looking guys and they had papers with
graphics showing women and how to approach
them. I listened in but it didn’t make much
sense to me. I asked him whether it was a speed
dating event they were preparing for and he broke
everything down to me. He told me to buy a book
called The Game and what it was all about.
From looking at these guys, I didn’t really buy
into the idea that they could do anything with
women but nevertheless I bought The Game when
it was released. I found the book interesting
and spent the next 6 months devouring all
the material I could find on the subject. Major
influences were David Deangelo and Tyler. I did
less than 10 approaches in those 6 months but
felt I had a good handle on the area because I
had studied it as thoroughly as I had my business
courses. Shortly after reading The Game I went to
Singapore on holiday. Over there I slept with my
second girl, she actually did most of the work but
at least I did most things right. She put her hand
on my leg, so I did the same. She started rubbing
my leg so I did the same. She took my hand, so I
kissed her. She still was the one that said “let’s
go” but I felt I knew what to do a little better
than before and at least would never repeat my
mistakes from university again.
In March 2006 I moved to London. I picked the
location specifically for meeting women– Leicester
Square. I didn’t know anyone so I knew I’d be
forced to get out there and meet people.
I wanted to move to London for years. I was never
happy living in Cambridge. I thought it was too
small, I thought the people were unfriendly and
boring and I didn’t have the kind of social life that
Why did I wait so long? I found out the real
answer and this might be the same thing that
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holds you back in many areas of your life, it was
a HUGE realisation: I was afraid that if I moved
to London and it was a failure, I’d be back in
Cambridge AND I would no longer have the dream
of something better to hold onto.
So at it’s core, it was fear of failure. Look at any big
steps that you’ve avoided taking and maybe it’s
the same reason. But I finally did do it...
I basically didn’t know anyone when I moved
down. My flatmates were cool and we got on, but
they had no social circle so I didn’t get to meet
people that way. What happened was that I found
some London pick up artists (from The London
Seduction Society/LSS) and hooked up with them.
I went out with these guys and gave them the
kind of respect I’d give the master pick up artists
chronicled in “The Game.” However, I quickly
found out that most of these guys could talk a
good talk and walk a cool walk, but they didn’t
seem to be able to open, hold and close the deal
I had to ratchet down my expectations a little bit.
Over the next few weeks, I met some more of
these guys. Most of them I didn’t really want to
hang out with, but I did meet two - Eugene and
Conor, who were “cool guys” and I tried to go out
to clubs with these guys as possible.
I was going out four nights a week. At this point,
I’d been to a club less than 30 times and was
completely uncomfortable in the environment. So
these nights would normally involve us opening
20 or so groups of girls, not many would hold.
I was overcoming my approach anxiety and a
couple of times I was successful in having a nice
conversation using my pre-existing introvert skill
of being an empathetic good listener.
I had a regular night out in Covent Garden with
Conor, where I started to get some good results.
We’d act as each others “wings,” distracting the
protective friends of our target girls so a strong
connection and a number close could be made.
With a wing helping you, it’s easy to avoid getting
blown out. If the conversation flags, your target
girl sees her friend conversing with your pal so
she doesn’t mind continuing her chat with you.
Working alone requires a lot more skill.
I was able to get a few number closes but nothing
came of them. I had no idea how to use physical
contact (kino-escalation) to get a kiss close in
the club. I have to say that by now I was pretty
confident. The girls I was approaching were often
hot and they did compliment me on my looks. It
was new and it was good.
The next big realisation happened about three
weeks into my London adventure. I was in a Soho
club with Conor and another guy, when Conor
approached two Swedish girls.
I didn’t go help him and wing straight away
because I was having a go at an Australian chick.
It didn’t go too far, so I went over to him. It was
an 18 year old Swedish chick. Pretty cute. I was
there sitting on the arm of the chair for AN HOUR
talking to her and then I told her to move up and
sat down next to her, carried on talking.
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I was getting no touching from her and didn’t
know what the hell to do. My one night stand in
Singapore only happened because she touched
my leg first and I just matched her kino-escalation
and then lead with the kiss. Anyhow, I said to
myself “fuck it” and put my arm around her and
went for the kiss.
Lo-and-behold it worked, she was into it. Now
I know I probably could have done it after
30 seconds, but the point was that it shifted
something in my mind - you don’t need to ask if
it’s okay to kiss.
Conor left early because his chick didn’t pan out.
When the girls left, looking back, it would have
been an easy to take my girl home (other one was
happy to leave her in my care!) and even get a
pretty simple 3-some.
But I didn’t because I was probably buzzing from
the kiss close and didn’t imagine it was possible. I
was now happy in London, I had friends and I felt
like I was in control of things a little more. I had a
lot of confidence and was on a high because I now
was able to attract and seduce women.
I learned the basic structure of a pickup from
6 months of theory and a few weeks in field.
Admittedly, I spent way too long geeking out on
the material. I got way more out of going out and
doing stuff. I spent the next month refining my
approach. We used a lot of canned material (which
I’ll explain later) and it worked to attract girls.
My first fuck-close came one night in a Covent
Garden club. My friend identified a hot girl.
She was tall, blonde, thin, blue eyes. Now she’d
be average, but at the time, she was very hot.
Anyway, I sat next to her, just chatted away. After
some teasing banter to challenge her, I lightly
touched her leg and arm and she reciprocated. I
went for the kiss after about 5 minutes.
I lead her around the club -”lets go get a drink,
lets dance, let’s sit down.” We got quite hot and
heavy and then I just got up and said “let’s go”
She started walking with me but asked “where?” I
said “somewhere else” and walked her out of the
club to my house. After some wine, I smoothly
escalated with no resistance.
I’ll leave out the details! Met her for a date
another day and the attraction had vanished,
I didn’t like that she smoked, I didn’t like her
accent, I didn’t like her shoes or the way she
I felt like Jerry Seinfeld when he dumps the girl
for silly reasons but I didn’t call her again. Over
the next month I got plenty of kiss closes and a
couple more fuck closes. I took about four salsa
classes. I didn’t pick up any girls in the class
because they were generally not up to standard
but I did devise my “salsa escalation” where I go
and ask the girl if she can salsa and then salsa my
way into a kiss.
I got a Serbian chick in one minute with this and
she was a virgin. Six feet tall, toned and tanned
body, blonde, blue eyes. It took seven hours before
she slept with me and then she was my girl for
about a month.
During my time with the Serbian girl I think I only
kiss closed one other girl and that was when I
trained with Brent (a renowned American pick up
artist). He came to the UK in May and I decided
that either I’d learn loads or I’d realise that I could
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be a trainer too. I paid $1000 + expenses for an
evening from 7pm to 2am.
He was good looking, confident and cool. The
training was a let down. He didn’t demo anything
cool. He couldn’t entertain two girls after I
engaged their cute friend (they quickly dragged
her away). He only said I should talk louder and
escalate faster. That was his only advice.
Very nice guy though. Maybe my level was
already high. Anyhow, I pulled a nice girl that
night. This was the first time I was disappointed
with the skills of a well-known guru. There were
many more to come in the next few months! Now,
when I meet famous pick up gurus, my attitude
is, “Hey, if they are great I’ll learn something and
if they aren’t, it’ll make me more confident.” Win
Over the next few months I improved my game,
gained more confidence, had more hot girls
and met various influential characters, most
importantly - Steve Jabba AKA Vertex and Anthony
P. We went out a lot and gamed together.
In June I had started Puatraining.com and had
been doing 1-on-1s. I was a skilled teacher, could
clearly communicate things and was able to
analyse the person’s strengths and weaknesses
very quickly and give them practical advice.
Through teaching, I learned my stuff way more
tightly and was forced to game. I learned how
to control my state instead of only being able to
game when I felt like it.
In July I went on holiday for two months with
Steve and we went out 40 out of 44 nights in
11 countries. The only nights we didn’t go out
was when we were travelling on boats, trains or
coaches. During this holiday, my skills at kino,
non-verbal pickup, dance-floor game and others
all got a huge boost.
Steve is a legend and few people have seen his
skills when he is at the top of his game. I saw him
do things a couple of times on holiday that gave
me the shivers! Next level game.
Fast forward to today. I am going to parties
with celebrities to learn how to game in those
environments. I’m working with the guys
here to further refine the system. And I’m
travelling to different countries to test my game
How do I pick up chicks now? I have an
unbreakable routine stack that can get me
laid every day of the week, one that uses an
unbreakable opener followed by calculated
responses, built-in emotional spikes, seductive
language patterns and a host of psychological
tricks. But you know what? I DON’T USE THIS
STUFF! I want to be able to game naturally.
I don’t want to know what I’m going to say next.
I like to test my intelligence and exercise my
mental muscles. I want to make a better self
instead of making a character that I can step into
and act out.
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Success? Email me and I’ll show it to you in
pictures! I meet a girl of high quality once every 3
weeks. Can kiss close any time I go out. Can fuck
close multiple times a week. The only things that
hold me back are:
• Busy with the business.
• Not enough hot girls in London clubs!
• Sex drive is not so high that I need 7 girls a
• I get more out of a loving relationship than
lots of casual sex.
Making your first impression
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Your First Impression – Paving the Way
The first impression that a girl makes of you is
not formed when you first open your mouth to
speak to her, it’s formed when she first catches a
glimpse of you out of the corner of her eye.
A few years ago, a savvy girl would have been able
to tell that I was insecure, unhappy, unconfident,
unfashionable, low-energy, unsociable, non-sexual
and shy just from looking at me. Why would
she want to talk to me? How would she feel if I
It’s difficult to know how you look to others,
because you don’t have a video camera following
you around all the time. However, we can work
to make the best possible first impression by
being aware of the necessary components. There
are various elements then that affect her initial
perception of you:
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Pre-Opening Body Language: Standing-
The Wrong Way
Most guys in bars and clubs are in a bad mood, get
drinks and stand shoulder to shoulder checking
out the girls. This immediately creates a negative
first impression. If you do this, it makes it look
like you’re out to pick up women and this can
turn off girls before you’ve even approached them.
The Right Way
The first thing to do is to look like you’re having
fun and are happy to be there. When you’re with
your friends, face them and engage them. If
you’re standing face to face, you can each cover
180 degrees of the location and check out all the
girls over each others shoulders. Women are
subtle and this is what they usually do.
If you’re walking around trying to find the hot
girls, do the “where’s Bob?” face and look around
as if you’re looking for someone. This subtle
difference allows you to check out everyone in the
whole place without having the “pick up” guy vibe.
When you’re speaking, facial animation and
gestures draw attention and make it look like
you’re having fun. Someone who seems like a fun
sociable guy is someone a woman wants to speak
to. Someone who is not having much fun with
their friends and only wants to check out women
is not someone who will get as good a reaction
when he approaches.
When you’re speaking, use gestures. Most guys
stand there fidgeting, shifting their weight,
moving their feet, moving their hands, nervously
taking sips of their drink. To stand out from all
these guys, to do the following “alpha male”
Legs: Stand with your feet slightly wider apart
than is natural. It will fell unnatural at first, but
you’ll also feel completely rooted like a tree. You’ll
no longer constantly change position or shift your
Arms: Most people I train have a problem with
fidgeting, they move their hands around, play
with things, put their hands in their pockets and
just can’t stay still. Here’s a trick to get over this:
put your thumb against your index and middle
fingers and let your hands fall to your sides. This
removes the natural tendency for the fingers to
find something to do. You can stay in this position
comfortably for hours without moving. Don’t
touch your face.
Eyes: Don’t look down! It conveys weakness. Be
confident holding eye contact with people.
Head: Move your head slowly, it conveys high-
status. Quick head movements make you look
Space: Take up lots of space. When sitting,
spread yourself out. When standing, have a wide
confident stance or gesture. When dancing, move
around the dance floor a lot and use big arm
Practice the alpha stance in your house, see
how it looks in the mirror. Next time you’re
in a bar, observe other people’s body language
based on the rules above. See who has good
and bad body language. Be very aware of
your own and try to click into the alpha body
Modelling Actors: Learning from the Best
Hollywood actors are not natural. They have
calculated poses, body language and voices. Look
at the faces they pull in pictures and in films,
they are not poses that normal people assume.
That’s because they are manipulating their facial
muscles in particular ways. Tom Cruise’s smile,
Brad Pitt’s eyes, Colin Farrell’s sexual badboy look,
George Clooney’s voice are all manufactured.
You can model celebrities and create a look that
stands out as much as theirs. I imitated the
“looks” I saw in films and magazines in front
of the mirror. Some people might find that
embarrassing, but believe me, Hollywood actors
have done the same thing. Knowing how you look
at all times and manipulating your look to achieve
particular effects is very powerful. Knowing how
to turn on a sexy and seductive look at the right
time will melt a girl.
There are two ways to do a cold approach. One
is the cold walk-up where directly approach a
girl and engage her. The second is a more casual,
seemingly spontaneous way to open: your target
1. Now this example is bad in so many ways. It is very locked in,
the stance is statuesque, the head is the furthest part of the body
forward. The woman will feel very uncomfortable if this is your
body language on a cold approach. If this is how you are standing
have to be pretty incredible!
2. So what does this communicate? It’s not scary or creepy, but
it is very weak. Look how an attractive man can again be made
to look very unattractive with awful body language. Hands in
pockets, an approval seeking tilt of the head and an unsure
posture all communicate weakness. This is not the pose of a
is a step or two away and you casually turn
around or step over and open. In both instances,
there are steps you can take to create a favourable
Bad Body Language
Most men walk up and get in the girl’s face. Do
this to someone you know and it’s bad enough.
Ask someone to do this to you to see how it feels.
It creates a reflex response of wanting to step
back and put your hands up. This is putting a lot
of pressure on an interaction before it has even
begun. Unless the girl obviously interested in
you, this is a bad move. This kind of face to face
interaction also feels like it could go on forever,
both people look locked-in, the only way for the
interaction to end is if someone turns 180 degrees.
In the event of a blow out, everyone will see what
has happened so you’re putting more pressure on
Direct vs. Indirect Body Language
The above is the essence of indirect body
language. Direct game obviously wants to put
more pressure on an interaction earlier on, so
making the girl feel comfortable and minimising
your chances of getting blown out are not so
much of an issue. Direct body language is usually
approaching in a sexual state, touching quickly
and escalating sexually. Direct body language is
all about presenting a sexual vibe – this comes
from mental state.
There is eye contact but it is lessened by the head being in line
with the body and by the use of gestures. One foot is pointing
away which makes it feel less looked in and more casual.
4. The lowest-pressure way to open is with the feet pointing away
from the target and only the face pointing towards. This looks very
impermanent and is very comfortable for the girl. It also looks
and seems more spontaneous. Great for spontaneous seeming
Women notice your appearance. They judge it
instantly and unlike your friends, they can tell if
something doesn’t match, is out of place or is just
plain ugly. Good fashion advice is difficult to find
and most guys don’t feel a need to concentrate
on this area. A few simple rules will help make a
1. Don’t Dress Generically.
If your clothes are so plain that they couldn’t be
commented on by a woman even if she was trying
hard to find something to say, then you’re generic.
If you’re wearing drab colours with standard
cuts and generally blend into the background,
you’re not making the most of your fashion. Look
around at other men and see how much you can
say about their dress. If their jeans have details
and funky touches, they are better than standard
Levis. If the shirt or t-shirt has a tailored cut, a
slogan, cool detailing, funky colours, or a picture,
it’s something that means you aren’t so generic
and if it reflects your personality in some way.
2. Spend Money on the Right Things.
An expensive shirt or jeans is wasted if your shoes
are ugly. Spend a lot of money on a couple of good
pairs of shoes (one black, one brown). You can
mix cheap jeans and shirts with great shoes and it
will make you look like you’ve an expensive outfit
on. After you’ve some nice shoes, the jacket is the
second most important thing (in winter). Next is
the top and last are the jeans. A few great outfits
are better than lots of average ones.
3. Match Clothes Correctly
Blue jeans with brown shoes is better than black.
Don’t wear more than three colours. Skinny
5. You probably haven’t had this happen since school, but having
someone standing over you will put you on guard immediately.
If you approach and start standing, sit down within the 10
seconds. You can use a time-constraint “I need to go soon but just
wanted to ask you…” to avoid her feeling uncomfortable sitting
with someone she has just met.
6. If there are no spare chairs or you would need to ask her to
move to make space for you, you should start off in a position like
this so that you are on her level. The longer you stay like this, the
more value you lose, but it is the best way in this situation. Quicly
ask her to move over or sit on the arm of the chair or even share
her chair with her.
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trousers with a baggy jumper is wrong, the fits
should all match. More than one bold colour
probably means a clash. Sports shoes have no
place, but designer trainers are okay.
A funky bracelet is worth more in terms of female
attention than a $15,000 solid white gold watch.
Find accessories like rings, bracelets, necklaces
that work for you.
5. Get the best hair cut possible.
If you’re not getting comments on your hair cut, it
can be better. Go to an expensive salon for a free
consultation, find out what would be the best cut
for your face shape and hair type and then get it
done in a cheaper place!
6. Look Like you Get Laid
Unbutton your top buttons and look around and
copy sexual styles. Looking like you get laid is
something you can’t do with generic clothes.
Think Colin Farrell.
Peacocking Gone Wrong
Peacocking is the pick up technique of wearing
clothes, accessories, or just generally adopting
a style that attracts attention. There is a right
and a wrong way to do it. Many wannabe ladies
men will copy the clothes and accessories of
famous pick up gurus. I see these guys around
and the problem with them is that they look
incongruent. What I mean is that they look like
they are wearing something because they think
they should wear it. It doesn’t suit them, it’s not
a style that represents their character. They look
weird and stand out in a bad way. If you peacock,
wear things that you would like to wear because
you think it works for your personality.
State Control: Being “In the Zone.”
State is how you feel at any particular moment.
Everyone has had times when they feel “in the
zone” and times when they feel useless. State
control is about trying to take the “in the zone”
feeling and be able to generate it at will when
State control is something I didn’t learn until
I started training. Prior to that, my own state
fluctuated based on the vibe of a place, my mood
that day, my friends’ mood, the quality of the girls
around and my first interactions. When I started
training people one-on-one and spending up to
twelve hours focused on one person, I needed to
always be “on” and so I couldn’t sometimes be
in-state and sometimes not. I developed a system
for getting myself into state consistently and on-
demand. Neuro-Linguistic Programming teaches
anchoring, which is basically a method of linking
a state to a body movement. I took things a step
further because anchoring wasn’t enough for me.
Here’s is my system for getting into state:
I have affirmations (see later) which I read to
myself. At the same time, I play music that has
very positive associations for me and gets me
pumped up. At the same time I click my fingers
and move my body to generate energy. After
doing this a number of times, each thing is
associated with the others. Before I train I do
all three, but while I’m out, the music, the finger
clicking or the affirmations alone will be enough
to get me in state.
When I’m in state, I feel completely confident,
able to approach anybody. I feel like the most
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attractive and powerful person in any situation.
This belief means that groups blow wide open.
I am able to generate high energy for big high-
energy groups, but can obviously calibrate and
tone it down for low energy groups. In the past,
high-energy groups would intimidate me, so I’d
only approach lower-energy groups.
In the early days of training, if I didn’t have a
connection with the student and felt tired, my
interactions might not go as well. Now, I can
sense when my state isn’t good enough and
generate it instantly.
State control tools:
• Small MP3 player for taking your music (and
recorded affirmations) anywhere.
• Crib sheet with affirmations.
• Associate a body movement.
Relaxed state control:
I also have a relaxed state. This is very similar
to the above except I have associated a body
and hand position (from Pranayama which is
like Yoga), to a state (from Pranayama) with very
relaxing classical music or self-hypnosis audio.
Now, just the hand position on its own is enough
to relax me and even lower my heart-rate.
Write some affirmations (check chapter in Inner
Game on affirmations), collect all the music
tracks that get you pumped up in one place. Play
the music, read the affirmations out loud and
associate a body movement. Do this before you go
Energy Levels and Holding Attention
Your energy levels are a tool that you can use to
better manage the reaction you get. You should be
aware of energy levels in a location and also of the
energy levels of groups you’re going to open. You
should aim to stand out in terms of your energy
level. If you are someplace where all the men
are trying to look cool, then you would be better
served by standing out by being the fun sociable
guy. If you’re in a very high-energy environment,
you should be the James Bond guy that moves
slowly and smoothly and stands out that way.
Look around a location and see the energy of
the various groups. As a rule, you should aim to
come in with higher energy than the group you’re
approaching. The reason for this is that you want
to be more interesting than what they were doing
before you showed up to maximise your chances
This is an area where many guys have problems.
Natural extroverts and good story-tellers share an
ability to hold the attention of a whole group. I’ve
seen guys with nothing to say command attention
just by looking interesting. Whereas I’ve seen
very interesting guys get blown out when they
are saying interesting things because they can’t
hold the group’s attention. This was a big problem
for me starting out because of my naturally quiet
and shy nature. However, it’s a necessary skill
in pickup. When you’re interrupting people, you
need to be more interesting than whatever they
were doing before you showed up. Otherwise
they’ll lose interest. The words you use are only
a small part of that. The statistic that only 7% of
communication being the words you use comes
in here more than anywhere else. How do you
learn to be more interesting? I’ve broken down
Energy levels and holding attention
energy levels to keep
the set hooked.
Most useful for large
sets (3+). The energy
(eye contact, gestures)
can be directed to
the members of the
set that are losing
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the core components. As a natural introvert with
none of these skills, I’ve been able to apply them
effectively and you can do the same.
What are the actual elements that affect your
Use hand gestures, they hold people’s attention
better and are necessary to hold the attention of
larger groups. If you get used to gesturing, you’ll
find it easier to progress to touching and it’ll seem
more natural to the girl. At first gesturing feels
forced when you’re not used to it but quickly
becomes second nature. To get used to gesturing,
bend your arms at the elbow and clasp your
hands. Make this your new default position when
in set, and put gestures out from this position. A
gesture or touch coming from hands by the side
is always strange looking – see the difference in
• Voice Tone Variation
Another thing that adds interest and draws
people’s attention is voice tone variation. Listen
to broadcasters, you don’t need to go that far, but
you need some kind of variation in your tone.
Some people will just try to go up and down in
voice tone at random. The real way to vary your
voice tone is to speak with passion and emotion.
Listen to Tony Robbins, he is able to draw you in
and hold your attention for hours at a time, and
he does it by speaking with passion and emotion
all the time.
• Body Movement
For larger groups, your feet shouldn’t be rooted,
you should be moving around. Shifting weight
etc is bad when done because of nervousness
but in this case you want to keep moving around.
Leaning, stepping and shifting weight are the
main components here. The reason we gesture
and move our bodies is because the eye is drawn
to movement. If we are completely still whilst in
set, and we are in a venue with movement in the
background, the women’s eyes will be drawn to
that movement. When you lose eye contact with
someone, they are paying less attention. Their
eyes wander, they notice other things, and then
their mind wanders.
• Facial animation
People will be drawn into what you say more if
you’re more facially animated. Be expressive.
Practice, and study others who do this well.
• Eye contact
To hold attention, spread your eye contact around
the group, if you’re losing one person, give them
more attention. If you are holding eye contact
with someone, and they are giving it back, they
have to focus on you and what you are saying. If
you don’t look at them, they can look around the
room and their attention will wander and you will
lose connection. If you hold eye contact, even if
they look around the room, they will f eel drawn
back to you because of the eye contact.
Energy levels can also be dynamically managed
during an interaction. This is a more advanced
use of energy levels, but what you’re doing here
is bringing up your energy levels when you notice
that you’re losing the attention of the group or
individual members. You direct your gestures and
eye contact towards the people in the set that are
not paying as much attention, and bring them
back in. It’s like spinning plates!
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The 3 Characters of a
It doesn’t get much simpler than this. Here are
the steps you can use to immediately get better
results. I could make this chapter into a book
and string it out, but just because I have made
it as succinct as possible, don’t underestimate
the importance! These are the three characters
you can assume during every interaction with
women. Not it doesn’t mean acting, it just means
being aware of how you are presenting yourself
at different stages of an interaction. We all have
different ways of behaving, with our parents, our
girlfriend, our friends. What we do here is use our
different ways of behaving consciously to progress
an interaction to the next level. You can even use
them on existing relationships to escalate to the
The Fun Sociable Guy, Mr. Comfort and
Most guys have one character all the way through
a seduction. For a fun extravert, it will be the
fun sociable guy. For most men, it will be “Mr.
Comfort”, the nice guy who might be interesting
once you get talking to him but isn’t especially fun
or sexual. The third is the sexual guy who goes in
directly and has a strong sexual vibe. These guys
will get some results, but they won’t be consistent.
Once described in this way, it’s pretty easy to
see you need bit of each to be successful in any
I was always the comfort guy. I found it hard
to start the interactions, to make people laugh
and to have fun with light banter. Once in a
conversation, I was good at making a strong
connection with the girl, but unfortunately I was
also missing any kind of sexual vibe and had no
idea how to escalate. I’d talk in this way for a
while and be thinking about going in for a kiss.
The problem would be that the conversation
had no sexual tension and so going in for a kiss
would have been awkward and would probably
be rejected. Guys who also have this will be the
often talked about “nice guy who finishes last”
and the guy that the girls just want to be friends
with. There is a point in an interaction where a
woman makes the choice between seeing you as a
friend and a possible romantic interest. You need
to be able to spice things up at this point to avoid
going down the friends route.
Over time and without any pre-planning, I
developed my other two characters, the fun
sociable guy and the seducer and my success rate
with women increased hugely.
To increase your success rate, you need to use the
three characters as follows:
1. The Fun Sociable Guy.
This is the guy that makes a great first impression;
he has high energy levels (see chapter on energy
levels), is animated, quickly makes a good
impression and makes people comfortable. He
will be able to get in with any group, make them
laugh and generally brighten up their evening.
We are glad this person is around because there
will be no awkward silences, he’ll keep the
conversation going. Someone who is naturally
Mr Comfort might think too much about what he
says, he thinks he’s being considerate, but people
relax a lot more when the person they are with
is relaxed. The Fun Sociable Guy personifies this
relaxedness because he is obviously being very
natural, saying what comes to mind and because
he is comfortable, people will relax around him.
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He will be very good for the first few minutes,
but might find it hard to connect with the person
or to seduce them simply because he is too
high energy. After a while, women will probably
become tired of talking to him because he can’t
be serious or deep. His high energy level is a bit
too much for extended periods. We’ve all been in
situations with someone who constantly tries to
crack jokes, it’s good for a few minutes but quickly
becomes tiresome. Use this character for the first
few minutes until you’re into a comfortable 2-way
conversation and they want you to stick around.
Extraverts will find it easier to step into this
character whereas introverts will find it harder.
I knew for a long time that I needed to be more
sociable, outgoing, funny, and interesting, but how
do you do that? Everyone can think of someone
who is the archetypal fun sociable guy and to be
him yourself, you need to:
• Be high energy. Remember – voice tone,
body movement, eye contact, gestures, facial
• Be positive. People in England are generally
less positive than our American cousins. We
like to moan about the weather, how stressed
me are, how bad the food is, and whatever
else. Although we can connect with people by
taking about all this bad stuff, people would
much prefer to be surrounded by people that
make us feel good and are positive. Find
the positive aspects and if someone starts
a negative conversational thread try to turn
it positive or switch as soon as possible. I’m
not talking about being “happy clappy”, you
can be realistic, but if you have the choice of
talking about something negative or positive,
talk about the positive thing.
• Enjoy yourself. Enjoy the music, the company,
the venue, the drinks, the food. Most people
don’t seem to enjoy themselves much but
we are always drawn towards people that
look like they are having fun. Enthusiasm,
passions, and happiness are contagious. You
will make people want to be part of your life
if you look like you are enjoying yourself. One
man might be a billionaire with the perfect
life, but look bored and uninterested, another
might be average in every regard but have a
real passion for life, and women will want
to be with him subconsciously because that
person can make them feel good.
• Smile. You’ll already stand out, most people
• Do most of the talking. Ask few questions.
Keep the conversation light, and situational.
To develop this character, there are a few active
steps you can take and exercises you can do:
1. Do something that involves public speaking –
toastmasters club, TEFL course, etc.
2. Try this acting exercise with a friend: One
Word Impro. The way it works is that you try
and make a story one word at a time. You say
a word (“I”) and then your friend says a word
(“will”) and you continue like this (Go. And.
See. My. Friends. At. The. Beach. And build. A
sandcastle. Then….) When you come to a full-
stop you use words like “next”, “afterwards”,
“then”, to carry it on. You try to increase the
speed and when you get good at this, it should
translate directly into natural conversation.
You can see this character at work in actors like
Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn in Wedding
Crashers. I’d imagine that quick witted TV hosts
Natural Game - the system for being a natural with women P25
also could have the fun sociable guy character
2. Mr. Comfort
After you’ve integrated into a group, you can
bring out Mr. Comfort. When you first approach
strangers, they are usually in a “wait and see”
kind of mode. It might happen quickly, or might
take a while, but soon they should open up to you
and commit to the interaction. How do you know
when this has happened? Non-verbally: They
will stop looking at each other or around the room
and will be focused on you and what you say.
Verbally: They will start to commit more to the
conversation, giving longer answers and asking
Mr Comfort is interested and interesting. He
listens 50% of the time, doesn’t talk too much
about himself and tries to understand women,
find common interests and build rapport. He
should stick around until you’ve a connection
with a girl, at which point, he should start to
bring in some elements of the next character,
The Seducer. Usually Mr. Comfort can not start
conversations very well and he is not very
seductive, so it will be awkward when he goes
in for the kiss. Being Mr. Comfort was always
my strong point. Most introverts will have this
character down and will be at home in this mode.
The problem is getting stuck in it! 90% of the time
when guys tell me they have been put into the
“friend zone” by a woman, it’s due to being Mr.
Comfort for too long. Having no sexual vibe, no
matter how good you are conversationally, means
you’re no more use than her girlfriends or gay
3. The Seducer
The Seducer, coming in after The Fun Sociable
Guy and Mr. Comfort will be very effective. The
following are behaviours of The Seducer:
• He looks at a woman in a way that tells her he
• He speaks more slowly, with a deeper voice.
• He touches her in increasingly sexual ways.
• He holds her hand when he talks.
• He holds intense eye contact.
The Seducer should smoothly emerge from Mr.
Comfort as you find out more about the woman
and become more attracted. When he is there
from the start it looks like you’re just into her
for her looks. By matching the way a woman
becomes attracted to a man (generally they warm
up to a man over time) you separate yourself from
other guys and she’ll feel a deeper connection.
Learn the three characters of the seduction and
you’ll smoothly move from starting conversations
to getting intimate. It’s one of the most useful
skills you can have in female attraction.
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You might have one or two of the characters
down, but work on the others. Sorry but the
best way is to use a mirror! You can also
watch films and see the transition at play. The
woman is never going to feel turned on in the
action scenes, just like with the fun sociable
guy. She isn’t going to feel turned on from the
coffee shop conversation, that’s Mr. Comfort.
Watching how actors switch the mood up by
looking at her differently and speaking in a
seductive way, it’s easy to see how this can
apply in the real world! Become aware of
yourself and practice your seductive looks in
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After months in the field, I realised there were
ways to make my job of picking up women much
easier. I could cold-approach a seated group of
five, isolate, go off somewhere with one of them
and go for the close. However, I learned that by
only considering cold approaches I was missing
out on a lot of much easier opportunities. I also
realised that I could do certain things to increase
my success rate on cold approaches by increasing
my value within a location first. The easiest
approach is a warm approach. The second easiest
is a cold approach in a location where you already
have a lot of value. Here’s how you make your
approaches easier and maximise the chances of
Opening Cold vs. Opening Warm
A cold approach is when you open a girl and are
unsure of the response you’ll get. She has not
shown interest in you and might not have even
noticed you. A warm approach is one where you
think the response will be at least somewhat
positive because you’ve made eye contact or
received some sign of interest. Obviously, if all
our approaches could be warm approaches, our
results would be a lot more consistent. There
are ways of increasing the ratio of warm to cold
approaches. These are:
Standing out in a Positive Way
Being the Fun Sociable Guy and talking to people
besides the hottest girls will disarm the hotties.
They’ll see you having fun with people and by the
time you get near them, they will be a lot more
open and receptive. This is easier than trying to
stand out in a club by being super cool since many
other guys are trying to do the same.
Making Things Easier
Forcing Her Interest
Most guys deal with eye contact from a girl in one
of three ways. The first is that they nervously look
away and get embarrassed. The next is that they
hold the eye contact. The third is that they force
a smile. These are all pretty bad. You can still
wonder why a girl was looking at you and use the
uncertainty as an excuse not to approach. Here’s
what to do: force her interest! When you’ve eye
contact with the girl, provoke a response from her
by doing something like: pointing at her, waving,
raising your glass, making a cheeky face, poking
your tongue out. Personally, I do my trademark
“point.” The girl is compelled to respond. The
number of responses she can give is limited. She
• Mirror your action
• Smile and look away embarrassed,
• Look away in disgust,
• Turn up her lip like “what’s he doing?”
If you get a positive reaction, you can approach
straight away. If you get a negative reaction, you
probably won’t get a good one when you open.
Many of my girlfriends were gamed by forcing
interest. It’s is one of my best skills and makes
my life a lot easier.
Approaching after an Indication of
If she gave you a sign of interest, it’s doubtful
she’s not attracted. So go for it! I usually use “hey,
how’s it going?” Longer, involved openers like
asking for an opinion will kill tension. Just be
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Maximising Interactions – Taking Every
In a club or bar environment, if you limit yourself
to cold walk-ups, you’re making things difficult for
yourself. There are plenty of opportunities around
you at all times to get into interactions:
Women stepping on your foot: “hey, watch it punk
(squaring up with smirk), let’s take this outside,
let me see (do flex pose and point for her to do it,
then muscle feel).”
Women squeezing past with drink: “cheers.”
Women pushing past rudely “no my dear, do it
like this (demo polite way to move past), excuse
All these will allow you to get into interactions
without the pressure and effort of a cold
Working the room
Working the room in pickup involves talking to all
the groups you’re interested in and some other
people in the room, being very indirect. At the
end of a short interaction, the key is to make to
leave and then as if it’s an afterthought, grab the
name. What you’ll be able to do in a short amount
of time is:
• Meet and get the name of all the targets.
• Create a positive, safe, non-threatening,
impression in the targets’ heads.
• Establish yourself as the fun sociable guy.
After you’ve done this, you’ll be able to re-open
any of these groups at any time during the night.
You’ll also notice a big increase in interest from
girls that you’ve already opened. Getting the
name is the key factor, I found out by chance that
re-opening using the name is much more effective
and they actually treat you like someone they
have known for a long time.
This technique is best used in smaller places early
on in the night. That way, as the night progresses
and people open up, your options will continue
to increase. Plus, you won’t have the problem of
opening when it gets noisier.
Go to a bar, buy a drink (or get a tap water!)
and go around the bar and cheers everyone.
You will find that people will always cheers
you back, and that afterwards you are getting a
lot of attention from girls wondering why you
didn’t try and pick them up. It’s an easy way to
work the room and removes the need to think
of anything to say!
Direct or Indirect? Both!
There are two very distinct schools of pickup and
most methods either fall into direct or indirect.
The System takes account of both and I suggest
that you use both.
Direct game involves approaching, immediately
conveying interest, then rapidly intensifying the
interaction with words and kino-escalation. An
example of direct game is to approach a girl, tell
her you think she is beautiful and take her by
the hands and increase physical contact. You’re
basically approaching in seduction mode (see The
Three Characters of a Seduction). The benefit of
a direct approach is its efficiency. It allows you to
Natural Game - the system for being a natural with women P29
quickly test a girl’s interest and, ideally, close her.
Who wants to wait hours to kiss?
The drawbacks of direct game are that:
It takes a lot of personal and sexual confidence to
It generates more approach anxiety by putting you
on the line and adding pressure to the interaction.
It might blow you out of a group that would have
been receptive to a more subtle slow approach.
Women generally need more time to warm up to a
guy and go less off the initial first impression.
Indirect game basically is coming in under the
radar, getting the girl comfortable with you and
slowly introducing the sexual vibe.
The benefits of an indirect approach are:
Less approach anxiety by minimising the chance
of getting blown out.
Easier to do on an all girl or mixed group.
More and longer interactions which allow you to
get comfortable talking to women and to practice
your conversation skills.
The drawbacks of an indirect approach are:
Sometimes the target wants you and you lose her
because she doesn’t think you’re interested.
You can waste time on a girl who you have no
chance with (she’ll never find you attractive, she
is engaged, she is a lesbian) and you don’t find out
because she thinks you’re just being friendly.
I suggest you use direct game when you’re getting
a clear sign of interest. If you’re not quite sure,
take the indirect route. I also suggest that your
approaches be indirect until you have a lot of
experience reading situations and have overcome
any approach anxiety.
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The important thing about having a method or
system of pickup is not so that I can say that
my method is better than any other or that this
is THE method for picking up women. What is
important is that I think it’s necessary to have the
structure of a pickup in your head any time you’re
in an interaction with a woman you like. This
allows you to know what you’re doing and what
you need to do next. My system is purposefully
designed to be simple enough to learn and
understand in less than an hour and from then
on, it can always be in your head.
The System as laid out below refers to a
somewhat indirect approach in a day or night-
time environment. It involves an opener, a
transition which is the thing that follows from
the opener (you should have these two prepared).
Next you use “Skills of the Natural” until you
reach a point where she has opened up enough
to give more to the conversation. This could be
immediately but you may need to do most of the
talking until the target gets comfortable enough
to have a conversation with you. At this point
you can ask more questions and go into Universal
Transitions (fallbacks that you can ask people
in any situation) and Rapport. There is a goal at
Initially, the goal is to get them committed to the
interaction. You know when you’ve reached the
“hook point” because the girls will do one or more
of the following:
• Open up their body language to you.
• Stop looking at each other and all focus on
• Ask you questions or make other attempts to
extend the interaction.
• Give fuller responses to what you say.
The System – From Open to
Once done, we switch to the next goal which is
to use rapport to find common interests and use
the universal transitions to find out their current
situation. This puts us in a better position to
Next come Deep Rapport and Kino Escalation,
these put you in a better position to get a physical
close. Deep Rapport is especially useful having
sex in two hours or less. During deep rapport, you
need to get a strong connection with the girl and
make her see you’re someone who understands
her. The kino-escalation is necessary to have
some sexual tension so that you avoid “being a
friend.” It allows you to test the water by gradually
increasing the intimacy of the touch leading up to
Knowing what you’re doing from open to close
will greatly increase your success rate because
you’ll be constantly focused on the goal.
The 3 Characters of a Seduction and The System
How do you apply the three characters within
The System? The fun sociable guy should be used
until you reach the hook point. The comfort guy
should start to come in at this point, especially
if you’ve got the girl all alone. The seduction guy
can come in after some connections have been
made in preparation for a physical close. Think of
them not as “on” and “off” but as sliders that allow
you to smoothly flow from one to another.
Indirect approach process
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The 3 characters of a seduction in action
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Opening – Transitioning, Skills of the Natural
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The First Minute
The first minute of a pickup is the most
important. In this time, you’ll have identified a
target, gone into state, overcome any approach
anxiety, positioned yourself, opened and hopefully
achieved a hook point. Normally by the end of the
first minute, you know how receptive the target is
and whether or not you’re in.
The Power of “Hey” as a Pre-Opener
Why do all openers start with “hey”? This is an
important point that needs to be explained. If
you deliver an opener to a woman or a group,
most of the time you’re interrupting them. They
will likely be in conversation already, or at a
least thinking about something , so will have a
conversation going on inside their head. When
you start talking, you’re breaking that state and
their response will be “what?” They will say
“what?” even if they heard what you’ve said.
Think about how you do this in your own life. I
only learned this properly when I started training
and saw students open without saying “hey” –
the girls would say “what?” and the interaction
seemed to always go badly after that. It got them
off on the wrong foot from the beginning. The
“hey” is followed by a pause and it’s to ensure that
you have the attention of the group BEFORE you
deliver your opener. It’s “hey” [pause. Group looks
at you] “do you guys…” The pre-opener can be
anything that gets the attention of the group, it
can be “hey,” “oi,” “yo,” “howdy,” whatever you like.
Opening and Transitioning
Everyone wants to know the openers, but the
transition is actually more important. I like to say
that the opener doesn’t matter.
The most important thing is what you follow the
opener with. That’s why, until you can freestyle
using “Skills of the Natural,” you need to know
your opener and also the transition before you
start an interaction. If you open with “hey should
I dye my hair blonde?” and they say “yes,” and
you say “ok thanks, bye”, that’s not too good. You
need to know before you go in what you’ll follow
it up with. So you can use that opener and then
your transition is “cool, because my hairdresser
tells me every time I go there that I’d look great
with blonde hair, he’s a great hairdresser. But he’s
gay so I really wasn’t sure on this one.” Actually I
say he’s gay because I just think he is, but he tries
to talk about women. He just looks gay. Do you
think you can tell when a man is gay?” If you go
in there with that much ready, you’ve enough to
get to the hook point in a lot of cases. If you just
have the opener ready you’ll be putting a lot more
pressure on yourself.
I prove that the opener doesn’t matter with
students by getting them to give me the lamest
opener possible and still showing that I can
hook or close. An example would be “my elbow
hurts,” this was one given to me by a one-on-one
student who just didn’t believe that the opener
wasn’t important. I went in to a seated pair of
girls without knowing what I’d come up with as
a transition. I used “I was testing the theory that
you can use anything to start a conversation.”
They were initially very negative, but even off this
opener, they opened up after a minute or so and I
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stayed for 15 minutes and n-closed one of them.
I could also have used “I’m doing acting classes
and wanted to see if I could make you believe my
elbow actually hurt.” The transition needs to also
be as solid as possible. If it’s weak it shouldn’t be
dwelt on, change subjects quickly.
The opener is the first thing you say to an
interaction. The best openers make her
laugh, make you look cool and are much more
interesting than whatever they were doing before
you came along. There are various types of
openers. An indirect opener is one that doesn’t
immediately convey your interest in her and
doesn’t put much pressure on the interaction. If
you say “You’re hot and I want you” that would
be direct and is putting a lot of pressure on her, if
you say “when does it get busy here” there is no
pressure. Opinion openers work very well in bars
and quiet clubs. Time and time again I’ve seen
them successfully “hook” a group.
Here are some indirect openers and how they
might be used. Different people feel comfortable
saying different things. You can pick a few from
below, modify one or later make up your own. You
don’t need hundreds. A couple of solid tried and
tested openers are enough.
Oh, there is a guy over there who is so perfect for
This opener involves approaching a woman,
pointing to a guy you think is “perfect for her” and
trying to take her over to meet him. Invariably,
she’ll refuse and then you can say how she should
trust you because you’re a great matchmaker.
It leads nicely into conversation on dating and
relationships. Her objection is projected onto
the other guy, so you’ve less chance of getting
rejected. It also provides a false disqualifier for
you, ultimately making it easier to hook a group.
You’re so…In my way.
If you’ve a situation where you’re walking and a
girl blocks your path, put your hand up as if to
gesture her to stop. Look at her seriously and
deliver the line. The key is the pause; it makes
her think you’re going to say “you’re so beautiful”
or some other cliched statement. If you do it
right, it guarantees a laugh.
Are you guys sociable/friendly?
Standard opener, can deliver with suspicious face.
Be ready for a yes or no answer and have a follow-
Are you guys super shy or what? I’ve been here
for 10 minutes and you haven’t offered to buy me
a drink or even said hello.
This one puts them on the spot slightly and
then releases the tension and they will laugh if
Are you posh girls, are you rich?
This allows the funny follow-up “I’m looking for a
rich posh girl who can buy me stuff.”
Did you invite all these people? I thought it’d just
This is semi-direct
I know you probably get no attention from guys
whatsoever so I thought I’d come and make some
conversation with you.
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This one should get a laugh. You’ll be on the spot
after this, so have something to follow it up with.
Clothing primp. What’s your name?
This one is good for a girl with a hat or other
kind of accessory. You look at her, double take,
look at the item and screw your face up as if
something is wrong. Hold out finger to say “wait”,
adjust the item then study her again and then
make a thumbs up. Don’t let the opener end
there otherwise that will be it. Follow it up with
You: What’s your name?
You: Tanya, I’ve just made you 38% more
attractive, you owe me!
Hey, I’m out meeting people tonight, what’s your
Standard, pretty low-risk opener that fits a fun
sociable guy frame.
Is this area of floor taken?
This is funny, it’s a play on “is this chair taken?”
Other variations include
Park: “is this area of grass taken”?
“Get ready!” “Huh?” “We are going to chat you
What you do here is tell the girls that you’re going
to chat them up. You can add something like “I
don’t know how many times you’ve been chatted
up but this is going to be the best ever, you should
really be sitting down…! You then do a little bit
of whispering and you come in with the lamest
chat-up line ever – something like “Is god missing
an angel because you’re here?” Deliver it with a
horrid unconfident delivery. Then you let them
reject that version of you which gets past their
bitch shield and offsets their objections. You can
then start talking about meeting girls in bars,
picking up and dating in general. Ask questions
about what the best and worst approach ever was.
Are you undressing me with your eyes?
If a girl is making eye contact with you, this is a
good opener to use.
My girl friend thinks you’re hot.
Uses fake social proof to make it easier to open.
Point to some random hot girl who is “your
girlfriend.” Later it can be revealed that she is a
female friend and you’re in fact single although
you’re friends with lots of girls.
Are you guys making mischief over here?
This is a funny one, the delivery is important,
suspicion mixed with playfulness works well.
Say they look shifty like they are going to steal
My friend wants to know if you think I’m hot.
A somewhat direct opener that offsets the direct
question by asking it from a friend’s point of view.
I know that look, are you guys male-bashing?
When you see women talking seriously, you can
open with this. Chances are they are talking
about men so will laugh. If not they still probably
laugh because they know that they often are male
I saw you checking me out. I knew that if I didn’t
confront you, you’d be following me around all
night and try and follow me home. I don’t need
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How’s it going? We’re out picking up chicks.
Why didn’t you call me?
(suspicious) You look familiar, did we have sex?
This one is very funny but more for the guys
delivering it than the girls. I like it a lot but there
are much more effective lines.
Are you listening to our conversation? Then why
you acting so nervous?
This is a good way to open a group who are
standing near you. You can follow up with “so
what do you think?”
“About what we were talking about”
“We weren’t listening!”
“Okay well we were talking about whether…..”
Into an opinion opener.
Which of you guys gets hit on the most?
This is a pretty good opener on two attractive girls
that look kind of different.
Are you confident enough to accept a sincere
compliment? Good so am I, you go first.
This is classic, it will usually make them laugh.
Expect that it can sometimes fall flat after they
laugh and have something ready to follow up
Are you single? So when are you asking me out?
Are you nervous?
This one works very well because it puts the girl
on the spot and gets her frustrated. You can then
release it by nudging her and laughing or saying
“wow you’re really cute when you’re mad.” You
want to fire the questions in quick succession
without giving her much time to think or answer
If I didn’t have a girlfriend and wasn’t gay, you’d
so be mine.
This is a variation on saying you’re either gay or
have a girlfriend. I think this one is better because
most people do not want to mislead a girl into
thinking they are gay or have a girlfriend. This
one is confusing but her subconscious will get
that you’re actually saying “you’re mine.”
Big table – “Hey, sorry I’m late.”
How the hell do you approach a big group who
are waiting in the street or are sitting at a table
in a bar/club? With this one way. Talk about how
the traffic was terrible. You’re Paul’s Cousin Bob’s
nephew or whatever. It’s funny. When you get
caught out, don’t dwell on it, ask some names and
find out what’s going on then proceed as normal.
Which of you girls is the toughest?
You have very thoughtful eyes. I think you have a
lot going on inside here (touch head).
This is a good direct line to use on a girl who looks
bored. Most guys go in with “you look bored.”
That’s never going to work. This one is a nice
direct compliment that works.
Hey, I have a policy of meeting the hottest girl in
the club when I go out. My names Rich (shake
Nice opener that has got me in consistently.
Hey, I have a policy of meeting the hottest girl in
the club when I go out. My names Rich (shake
hands). So, do you know that girl (point at
another hot girl?)
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Cheekier, funnier, doesn’t work as well for me!
Opinion openers are the easiest way for a newbie
to open in a quiet bar/club. They are good in
that they can get a long conversation started
pretty easily. A well-crafted opinion opener can
guarantee you a few minutes of conversation.
However, they’re overused by pickup artists. You
should be careful using the “classics.”
The way to deliver an opinion opener is to
either make it seem spontaneous or to “root”
it. A spontaneous one comes from reacting to
something your friend supposedly said and asking
whoever is nearest, which just happens to be a
pair of hot chicks! Rooting the opener means that
you need to tell them the reason you’re asking so
that they know why they are spending their time
giving you their advice. I will illustrate this with
the Dye Hair Blonde opener:
“Should I dye my hair blonde?” will usually get a
“Should I dye my hair blonde, because every time I
go to my hairdresser he says ‘man you’d look great
with blonde hair’ and he is a great hairdresser,
but…he’s gay, so I need your help, should I die my
hair blonde?” will get you a much fuller response
because you’ve rooted the opener and told them
the reason you’re asking. This also helps it seem
more indirect and innocent if that’s your goal.
Another important point about opinion openers is
that they can be used ANY TIME in the interaction.
If things are dying out, just throw in an opener.
They are designed to be the most interesting
conversation possible so are a great way to re-
Jealous Girlfriend Routine
You: Hey guys, let me get your opinion on
something. I’m trying to
give my friend over there advice, but we’re
just a bunch of guys
and not qualified to comment on these
matters. Okay, well my friend has been
dating a girl for three months. And she just
moved in with him. Now, this is a two
part question. So, imagine you’ve been
dating someone for three months. And he is
still friends with his old girlfriend from
college. How do you feel about that?
You: Yes, they’re JUST friends. There’s nothing
else going on. They talk like once a week at
HBs: I think it’s fine/I don’t think they should be
You: Okay, now let’s say that he has a drawer in
his apartment. And
in that drawer he keeps all of his old
photographs and letters.
Now, some of those letters happen to be
from ex’es and some of
the photographs happen to be with ex’es.
HBs: blah blah blah concerned comment blah
You: It’s not like he ever looks at them. They are
just there, like
old souvenirs and memories of his past.
HBs: I think it’s fine/I think he should put them
away in a closet/He
should destroy them/whatever
You: Okay, the reason I’m asking is because
WING’s girlfriend says
doesn’t want him to talk to his ex from
college at all. She wants
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him to cut it off completely. And she wants
him to destroy all of
his old photos and letters from ex’es. She
says it’s just holding
onto the past and he should let go of it now.
Personally, I thought
it was extreme and a bit insecure. But what
do I know. I’m a guy.
And, as we all know, guys think differently
Do you guys think the rock star David Bowie is
hot? ‘Cause get this, my niece just got a poster of
him this big (indicate with arms) and put it on her
ceiling, I mean that’s an old man, do you guys like
I deliver this one as follows: “Guys, what do you
think of piercings? Because my ex-girlfriend was
a bit of a rock chick and she used to always say
(pinching eyebrow to show where it would go)
“you should get a piercing”.” I’m not going out
with her anymore, but I’m still kinda considering
it, do you think piercings are sexy?”
This one goes into lots of things about male
attractiveness and what they consider attractive
in a man.
Do I look gay?
This one is killer. It seems to never fail. The root
is that a guy just tried to pick you up, or your
friend said you look gay in those shoes/that shirt.
They will laugh and it just works a charm.
Do you think Derren Brown/David Blaine is sexy?
The follow up is to say that you’ve been studying
magic/psychic stuff/ESP or whatever and that you
wondered if it was their looks or their abilities
that made them sexy to some women. It leads in
to any skill or routine in these areas.
Do you believe in palm reading/handwriting
Follow with “me too” or “I didn’t either but then…”
and go into a story about a relative who does it
for a living and showed you some stuff. “I was
sceptical but I brought my friend along and they
got everything right.” “I’m not entirely sold, but
I’ve been learning it a bit and want to see if it’s a
way to get to know people better more quickly.”
This is a nice way to open and lead into one of
these skills in a smooth way.
How soon is too soon to get engaged?
You look like you can help me with this. My
friend is coming in an hour and he needs
my advice. He has known his girlfriend for 3
months and he is going to ask her to marry him,
tomorrow. He says he wants my advice, but I
think he has already made his mind up. I think
it’s too soon, but if I tell him that he might disown
me because I think he has already decided. But
if I say it’s a good idea and it doesn’t work out, I’ll
feel responsible. So what do you guys think, how
soon is too soon to get engaged?
This is a fantastic opener that leads straight into
relationship talk and has a lot of drama built in. It
should hook very well.
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My friends GF deleted all the pics of them kissing
from his digital camera, you think that means
I’d further classify opinion openers into
“Spontaneous seeming” and “walk-up strength.”
If you have three girls sitting in the corner and
need to go and approach, it’d seem strange to go
all that way only to ask if they think you look gay.
However, using “How Soon is Too Soon” will work
very well. Generally you need a more serious
opener for a walk-up.
Direct openers are something I took a while
to get the balls to deliver. You need internal
confidence. You have to believe in what you say
and put yourself on the line. You have to have
complete authority. If there is a hint of weakness
and she picks up on it, the opener will fall flat.
When you have confidence from success using
other openers, or if you’re confident because you
can tell that the girl is attracted to you, bust out
the direct game and it’ll be fantastic. Super fast
results and women that think you’re incredible
because of your boldness. With a direct opener,
if she doesn’t respond negatively, take the direct
route and escalate quickly.
I know this is kind of random, but I had to tell
you that you’re just too cute
Do you know who you remind me of? Someone I
want to meet.
I like you / You’re beautiful. And I’m going to get
to know you.
For more openers check out the PUATraining Blog.
These are what I mainly use now at the time of
writing. A situational opener is taking something
about the current situation and using that to start
the interaction. It could be noticing something
about her, it could be a Seinfeld-esque “What’s
the deal with corn nuts?” Usually it’s noticing
something about the environment and saying
what happens to be the question in your head.
“How can they eat ice cream in the winter?,”
“would you wear THAT?” “Which one do you
think is healthier?” I know when I have used
a situational opener when I try to remember
which opener I used and I can’t. It’s so natural
and unconscious and uncalculated that I don’t
remember it. The way to be as natural and
comfortable as possible is to get used to just
saying whatever comes into your head without
delay or planning.
Write down 3 openers you like, go out, and
open 10 sets. Your goal is just to open and stay
as long as you are comfortable, make an excuse
to leave, get their name, and eject. This is to
get comfortable with opening sets. You will
notice that as you get more comfortable, the
interactions naturally last longer.
Opening and transitioning - skills of the natural
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For anyone that wants to become a natural with
women, someone who seems like they’ve always
had the ability, this is the section to pay attention
I used to be a terrible conversationalist, boring on
dates, useless in groups, a terrible public speaker
and unable to hold people’s attention. Now I
game like a natural. This means that I’m able
to break down exactly what’s necessary to be a
naturally good conversationalist and generate
attraction. I can also give you exercises to practice
During the first minute of an interaction, you need
to do most of the talking. Anything that puts the
conversational pressure on her is something that
she could use as an excuse to end the interaction.
When she is comfortable and committed to
the interaction (which could be instantly, but
generally takes longer from a cold approach)
you can start putting some of the conversational
burden on her.
The Art of Small Talk
Women are sick of boring conversations with
men. They have had the same one over and over
and over. If you can be different, you’ll stand
out hugely and quickly generate attraction.
First, what shouldn’t you do if you’re a good
What kind of conversation do you have with a
hairdresser, person in line at the post office, your
aunt who you see once every 6 months? It’s
probably boring, shallow and what I like to call
conversation on rails. When we meet someone
new, they say “what do you do,” “where are you
from,” “do you like films,” blah, blah, blah. We hate
answering these questions over and over, yet we
ask them of others. For attractive women who get
approached regularly, the issue is even bigger.
Many women are approached and immediately
put on the spot to answer a series of questions.
The man’s only response to her answers is
usually “oh really, so…” This quickly gets boring
and any woman who puts up with this for long
must either be really attracted to you or very,
very polite. Don’t ask a series of questions. Ask
one and connect on the point then ask another.
For advanced level skills, try to elicit the answer
without asking the boring question – make an
assumption or guess about what she does, where
she is from, or what food she likes. You get the
same information but it’s more interesting for her.
Stating the obvious
If a girl has pretty eyes, she has probably heard it
500 times. Find something more specific to her,
preferably not about her appearance. Or don’t
say anything at all. It’s fine to give an obvious
compliment with feeling when you’re already
together but in the early stages it’s not what she
The above methods of eliciting information either
put conversational pressure on the girl or are
Low-Pressure Hook Elicitation
Here’s what you should be doing instead. The
following are some ways to elicit the boring
information without asking the standard
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Ask Leading questions
Instead of asking “where are you from”, say “are
you Swedish.” Make some kind of personal guess
that shows you’re paying attention to her.
Make assumptions and funny guesses
Instead of asking what she is doing, say “okay,
so you’re waiting to meet Steve, he is a guy you
chatted up on the internet and you’ve no idea
what he looks like, but he is going to be wearing
a red shirt.” She’ll laugh and then tell you what
she is actually doing or even better she’ll play
along with it and you’ll have a fun moment. Make
up a silly scenario. What is she going to do with
her friend? Why is she visiting London? Another
example “okay, so you’ve been shopping all day,
bought loads of stuff and now your feet are killing
you so you’re going for a coffee together.” This
kind of thing also gets you in the habit of focusing
on them and making observations and cold reads.
Over time, this skill is developed and you can
usually guess correctly!
Connecting on the Hooks
A “hook” is something given to you that you can
use to extend the interaction without starting a
new, unrelated topic. Every time a woman opens
her mouth she is giving you a hook. It might be
her accent, the words she uses, or the information
she gives you. If she tells you she is Brazilian and
is studying English in London for three weeks, you
have three hooks that you can feed off (Brazil,
studying English, here for three weeks). The way
to feed off a hook is to relate the point to them
for a little while, which establishes a connection
and only then to ask another question or to elicit
Your goal with each hook should be to connect
in a positive way about the point. The best way
to do this is to talk positively about her. The less
effective way is to relate the point to your own
experience, be clichéd, or be negative.
Let’s look at the three levels of evolution in this
1. The high-pressure interview
What do you do?
I’m an artist
Where are you from?
What’s a hobby you’ve?
Going to the cinema.
Put yourself in the girl’s position here. She is
constantly under pressure, the spotlight is always
on her and she is being asked to commit a lot
while getting nothing back. She is not rewarded
in the slightest for giving you information about
herself. Regardless of her answer, you are straight
on to the next question. This is because you are
thinking about he next question as she answers
instead of trying to use what she gives you in a
unique way depending on her response. This is
how most guys pick up.
2. Self-obsessed relating
What do you do?
I’m an artist.
Cool, my brother is an artist, he makes these
sculptures out of plastercine, he made one the
other day of a fish, it’s really cool…. Where
are you from?
Oh great, I have a Swiss watch and I like Swiss
chocolates. My friend went to Switzerland on
holiday, said it was great.
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What’s your hobby?
Oh I love watching films, I saw that new
Johnny Depp film, that was cool…I want to
watch that new one coming out next week,
forgot the name…
What is going on here is that the person is using
the hook, taking the pressure off the girl, so it’s
better than the interview. However, they are not
making a connection, they are putting up a barrier.
They are saying “anything you say I will relate to
my reality and I won’t try and understand yours.”
When someone is talking about themselves, it’s
less interesting than when they are talking about
you. In this kind of conversation, the girl will
not want to give more to the interaction because
you have not shown empathy or understanding.
At this level of rapport, it takes a lot longer to
get rapport and solid closes. Sure, it will work
sometimes, especially if you have other talents
that shine through when you’re talking – humour
being the main one that can save the day. But to
get fast rapport and connection, you need to do it
3. Gambler-style Hook Connections – Taking
“What do you do?”
“I’m an artist.”
“Interesting, I like that, I imagine you must
see the world in a different way to most
people; you must be able to appreciate beauty
in more things.
“Where are you from?”
“You don’t look like you do, but I heard
that people from Switzerland are quite
conventional and really stick to rules and
things. You look more like a bit of a rebel, just
look at that hairstyle!
What’s a hobby of yours?”
“I guess that being a creative person, you
must enjoy seeing other people’s creativity,
but when you look at art I guess you always
see the technical aspects as well so it must
be nice to go to the cinema and just enjoy the
The above are snippets from real conversations,
but in the actual conversations I didn’t jump
around the topics in that way, because I was
talking about her. The conversation naturally
flowed more deeply into those areas. By giving
the examples of the most boring questions
possible and seeing how they become acceptable,
you can see how this is a very powerful technique.
She would tell me more about her art and natural
questions arose from imagining what it was like
to be her. If I am imagining being an artist, I can
talk globally about it, then I might wonder what
kind of art. I’ll ask her and then I have more
information which I can use to imagine her more
deeply and so connect more deeply. This process
continues usually until the topic naturally morphs
into something else rather than the staccato style
of examples one and two.
Of course, you can relate things to yourself if they
are particularly relevant and you have something
interesting to say. But try to connect with her
on the hook first, that way she’ll be 10 times
more interested in what you have to say. It kind
of invokes the law of reciprocity – someone is
interested in me, I’ll be interested in them!
Natural Game - the system for being a natural with women P45
When I connect, I’m doing it by being empathetic
and imagining what it’s like to be them.
Another kind of hook is an Observational Hook.
This is something that you observe about her –
her shopping bags, her clothes, her make-up, her
nails, her body language, the expression on her
face. These are all things you can use to create
new conversational threads.
Attraction Building - Making her Conversational
Threads More Interesting
At some point she is going to want to contribute
to the conversation, she’ll ask you questions. The
danger here is that they are super boring and so
kill any kind of interesting stuff you had going on.
Here’s how to be ready for this:
Have interesting answers to standard questions
There are certain questions and conversational
paths that occur again and again for each person.
Think about what yours are and make your input
more interesting. If a conversation gets boring
because the girl starts asking boring questions,
she won’t remember it was her fault, she’ll just
know she is bored!
Stay away from topics like:
• Disgusting stuff
• Contentious political issues.
• Bad past relationships
• Negative things.
Talk with passion
If you can talk with passion about things you care
about, it draws people in. If you enjoy something,
let it show, be expressive, use visual and emotive
language. People get caught up in it and start to
feel good too. When they feel good, they will want
to talk to you more. Use story-telling skills here
(see chapter on story-telling).
So, let’s put it all together with an example of the
natural + situational observational opener.
The following interaction is was real demo for
a student. Location: Leicester Square, London,
3:30pm. I recorded the interaction on MP3 and
the below is the transcript. There are many
techniques used and you can continue to refer to
this. You’ll see more each time you look:
(A girl standing alone with arms crossed, looking
Me: Hi, you’re crossing your arms and I study
body language so I could say that’s because you’re
closed or in a bad mood, but I was noticing a lot
of people standing like this recently and either
people are more closed at this time of year, or
more people are cold! <Laughs> so are you in a
bad mood or are you just cold?
HB: I’m cold.
(No conversational pressure to begin, I’m talking
and bantering without putting conversational
pressure on her. This is necessary because I
have no indication of interest and she looks
Me: See people take this body language stuff
too seriously, they need to put more disclaimers
Natural Game - the system for being a natural with women P46
in these books. People crossing their arms are
closed, UNLESS they also might be cold. People
stroking their hair fancy you, UNLESS their hair
is in their face and they can’t see anything.
<Laughs> You look like you’re waiting for
HB: Yeah, I’m waiting for my friend.
(At this point, I don’t immediately ask another
question like “who?”, “what time were they meant
to be here?”, “what are you doing together?.” This
would be natural but it’s not very interesting. She
has given me another hook which I can feed off so
I should use it. Her body language is opening up
and she is receptive to the interaction).
Me: I hate waiting for people here, you can’t call
them because they are on the underground and
there are so many people so you keep thinking
“is that them? Is that them?” the time goes way
slower than when you’re waiting somewhere
less hectic. So let me guess, it’s your old school
friend and you’re meeting for the 10 year reunion
HB: <laughs> Well is my friend from university but
we are going for a coffee. What’s your name?
(This is a big sign of interest. She is asking a
question of me. It isn’t related to the topic and it’s
personal which means she wants to know more
about me and extend the interaction)
Me: Richard, and you?
HB: I’m Anna
Both: Nice to meet you.
Me: Wow, your hands are cold <takes other hand
too>, squeezes them.
(I’ve quickly kino’d and I’ve actually done a quite
intimate thing that jump starts a sexual frame).
So is your friend cute?
HB: <laughs> She is actually.
Me: Cool, so we can all go to coffee together, but
we can’t stay long we need to be somewhere. Tell
her I’m your fiancé that we met last week, it was a
whirlwind romance and that we flew to Vegas, got
married by Elvis and came back yesterday.
Skills of the natural pretty much ended
there because we moved into a more 2-way
conversation and rapport. The interaction went
on in more relaxed style, she started giving 50%
of the conversation and asking a lot of questions.
Her friend turned up (who was hot too) and we
went for coffee together after we persuaded the
friend to be cool with things. Number closed
and ended the interaction after 30 mins. Went
to bed with her at the next meeting and she later
became a girlfriend.
There is no way to conversationally block a pickup
unless she is being directly rude.
Practice your new conversation skills on your
social circle. See if you can make them feel
good and get a deeper level of connection than
you normally do. You’ll notice that you get a
much better reaction from people and can use
these skills at work.